LETTERMAN’S TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

VOTE DEMOCRATG#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry
whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on
a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon
at 15% isn’t.

#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better
job of spending the money I earn than I would.

#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as
nobody is offended by it.

#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun,
and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from
murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service
that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a
home invasion.

#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of
babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive
and comfy.

#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to
free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we
should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be
allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and
give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the
Democrat Party sees fit.

#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite
the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never
get their agendas past the voters.

…And the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to
pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own
because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish here in
America. We don’t care about the beetles, gophers or fish in those
other countries.

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